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Things that are not laundry

A list of things I don’t like finding in the laundry basket.

  1. Laundry, obviously.
  2. Clean laundry that you couldn’t be bothered refolding and putting in a drawer.
  3. Clean laundry that you couldn’t be bothered hanging on a clothes hanger.
  4. Clothes that are too small but you ‘don’t know what to do with them’.
  5. Clothes that you don’t like any more.
  6. Sweaty socks that are inside out, with the dirt trapped in the toe.
  7. Shoes that you don’t like or can’t be bothered putting away.
  8. Shoes that are dirty.
  9. Forgotten school shoes that you will be unable to find when it is time to leave for school tommorow morning.
  10. Dirty dishes.
  11. Drink bottles.
  12. Mouth guards.
  13. Open packets of half eaten food.
  14. Food that is old, off, rotten or mummified.
  15. A bowl of cereal that you forgot about after balancing it on the laundry basket while you used the toilet.
  16. Food of any kind.
  17. Your completed homework.
  18. Your incomplete, overdue homework.
  19. Text books.
  20. Musical instruments.
  21. Tissues, dirty or clean, packaged or not, or hidden in pockets.
  22. Permission slips for excursions.
  23. Toys of any kind.
  24. Books or magazines.
  25. Any liquids that you opened in curiosity then panicked about, such as nail polish or WD40.
  26. Broken nick-nacks that you are trying to hide, especially Christmas ornaments.
  27. Lunchboxes, especially on the last day of school holidays when you have discovered them in your school bag.
  28. Modelling clay, play doh, Plasticine, blue tac.
  29. Random sticks from the garden.
  30. The dogs disgusting chew toy.
  31. Your rock collection.
  32. My shell collection.
  33. Unwashed paint brushes.
  34. Dirty nappies.
  35. Cushions from the couch.
  36. A bunch of flowers you picked yourself.
  37. That present you got for your birthday that you don’t like.
  38. Used wrapping paper.
  39. Your wallet.
  40. My wallet!
  41. Your pirate beard from the dress up box.
  42. A deceased lizard you found in the garden.
  43. Any animal, dead or alive. This includes insects.
  44. Toilet paper, or empty toilet paper rolls.
  45. Palm fronds.
  46. The toilet brush.
  47. Toothbrushes or toothpaste.
  48. Soap.
  49. Electrical devices and/or chargers.
  50. Glitter.

2 thoughts on “Things that are not laundry.

  • 10/28/2016 at 2:21 PM
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    Sometimes, if the clothes show no sign of dirt I just fold them right back up again and what a surprise, nobody notices.

    • 10/30/2016 at 11:15 AM
      Permalink

      I’m sure they wouldn’t notice at all! In fact, I could probably throw the dirty clothes right back on their bedroom floor and they would just pick them up as needed and continue to wear them. Savages.

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