Unfairly asking them to have the first bath, when they had the first bath last night.
Not allowing them to have a very deep bath every night.
The appearance of a snack sized packet of Burger Rings in their lunchbox.
Putting an apple in the lunchbox when I know it hurts their ‘adult teeth’
Walking them to the classroom door and saying hello to the teacher.
Asking them to put the iPod down and go to sleep.
Embarrassing them in public by blowing my nose.
Not believing in God, and therefor not joining the rest of the family in heaven.
Buying the wrong brand of chocolate bar.
Naming one of the chickens ‘Voodoo Chicken’.
Refusing to address Voodoo Chicken by it’s correct name of ‘Mary’
Not having enough ice cream in the freezer.
Allowing their brother to sneeze in public.
Allowing their brother to wave his arms in public, in an embarrassing fashion.
Sending them to their grandparents for the weekend.
Allowing it to rain.
Not having nectarines in the fridge.
Cutting a sandwich the wrong way.
Making a sandwich with the wrong cheese.
Putting lettuce on a sandwich.
Apparent meanness to the dog.
Not convincing a theme park to stay open after it’s advertised closing time.
Cooking a cake.
Putting the wrong doona cover on their doona.
Putting the Wombles of Wimbledon pillow case on their pillow, when they wanted the Hair Bear Bunch.
Telling them that McDonalds apple pies contain chokos.
Talking about eggs, when I know they have an egg allergy and I can see them sitting right there.
Unfairly forcing them to go to the beach.
Buying them new shoes when they didn’t need any.
Singing and dancing to Steely Dan while in the supermarket.
Not allowing them to go alone into the men’s section of a public restroom.
Using a mean voice.
Not allowing them to watch age inappropriate movies.
Are you still reading this list?
I could go on.
I bet you identify to more than a few of these.
What are some things your children have told you off for?
Wait a sec while I get a glass of wine.